Finding the middle path. The path between idealism and pragmatism. Between naivety and cynicism. Compliant surrender and angry dissent. Detachment and clinging on.
This is a conversation I am having with myself this week, and have had with a colleague and a couple of friends.
I noticed I was feeling angry with a decision made at work. Angry with my managers apparent inability to challenge their seniors and peers effectively.
This is not something I have experienced in any notable way for nearly 18 months. Not since leaving my last job and starting the one I have now. I guess 18 months is about long enough to become established in role and to start coming up against the organisational culture.
I don’t think that’s all there is to it though. I have been working on myself in a structured and supported way over the last few years. Prior to now I would have been very much to one side of the path. Not even realised that there was another side let alone a middle way between the two.
On Friday I had a bit of a rant in our team catch up. Indignant, righteous anger. Full of disdain. In years gone by that would then have stewed and festered. On this occasion I noticed my reaction. I could see it for what it was. I understood where it was coming from. Rather than identify with it and allow it to possess me I decided to do something different. To let it be and follow up in a constructive way. A healthy adult way.
I put together what I intended to be a persuasive and reasoned rational to articulate the case for a change I have proposed. Whether now this influences decisions has yet to be known. While it is my hope that it does, if it does not I feel at peace for having tried rather than just getting angry.
Management teams are often made up of people who nod and agree with their seniors. Who tow the party line. Who will keep things as they are and not rock the boat. People who are considered a “safe pair of hands”. Default decision makers. Predictable, reliable managers. Keep your head down and maintain continuity is the message. This might be safe but it may also stifle innovation, change and improvement.
I may be able to accept this approach bit more if I worked in a “good” organisation. I work in one that “requires improvement”.