I decided to hand in my notice. What helped to make that decision was remembering the habit based future orientated someone I wanted to be. Fit, healthy and active into old age. Working nights is not for me compatible with that. That made resigning an easy decision to make. Staying and working nights was not in line with the someone I wanted to be.
Having done so the options did indeed begin to unfold. I was invited to meet with management to discuss ways in which they could help to make it so I stayed. Meetings happened. I let them know what my needs were. Open and honest. No more nights. Predictable and unchanging shift pattern. Reduce hours by 22 a month so I can plan and do outside work. All has been agreed! Only working two days per alternating week, No nights. Set pattern of shifts. I am very happy.
Being clear about the someone I want to be was the power. Making a decision with that someone in mind felt right. It gave me confidence that I was doing the right thing. It meant I took action. Taking action opened up possibilities I had not thought of. Really good outcome. Really good process to follow. Very happy with the whole thing.
Keeping on with the meditation and stretching. Meditating on my break for the last two days. Walking to the nature reserve on my breaks and meditating there for 20 minutes. Makes the mornings more manageable. It feels sustainable. Stretching on my days off.
The idea of big mind and little mind. Awareness (big mind) and thoughts (little mind). The sky (big mind) and the weather (little mind). The ocean (big mind) and everything (little mind) in it. The universe (big mind) and stars and planets (little mind). A plate (big mind) and the food (little mind) on it. A canvas (big mind) and an illustration (little mind).
Big mind is constant. Little mind is transient. Tuning into big mind, being aware of little mind. Being curious. Non judgemental. Letting go. It’s a powerful notion. Let the big idea of future orientated identify based habits and behaviour guide my day to day actions instead of allowing little mind ideas distract and lead me in circles.
Forward ever. Backwards never. Not standing still. Not going in circles.