I have been getting into using a camera again. I wouldn’t call what I do with a camera photography. For me the word suggests a level of competence and skill that I do not have. I take photos. Maybe I need to get over myself about this.
I used to take loads of photos. Mostly between 2000 - 2012. When the kids were young. Mostly of them to start with but after a while of pretty much anything and everything.
I was motivated to a large degree by wanting to add to my photo stream on Flickr. I used to post a lot of pictures on Flickr. I made it more important than was helpful. Views, favourites and comments being the influence of my activity and self appraisal. I did know better, however my engagement was still shaped by it.
I did not indulge in the self serving sycophantic adulation of other people’s photos to garner reciprocal favourites1. I looked on those that did with aloof disdain at the same time as harbouring a suppressed desire to be noticed. I remember pretentiously thinking that popularity was an unreliable measure of quality. That was right in some ways. It was also a bit of sour grapes.
I got fed up feeling that way so ended up deleting my account around 2012. Over time I lost contact and in one case fell out of favour with people I’d become friends with through a local group I started on the site.
I knew my way round the camera I had back then. A Canon D30. For the last 12 years that’s been sitting unused in a camera bag along with lenses I bought. About eight years ago I sold a wide angle lens and bought a Pansonic FT5 with the money. One of those tough waterproof compact cameras. I thought it would be good to take with me on bike rides. It survived a lot of rough handling, a few drops and two bike accidents. In the end I managed to put a crack in the LCD display, and somehow damage the lens such that photos came out a little foggy with a bit of a glare in one area. After that I just used my phone like most people do these days. The only place I shared any photos publicly was on the rides logged on my RWGPS account. Hardly anyone looks at those and no one comments so nothing performative there to put me off.
Perfectly happy with that until I was triggered by social media again. Looking at photos posted and joining in with a photo challenge got me thinking I’d quite like a decent camera again. Held onto that thought for a few months before hauling out the D30. The D30 is a heavy lump of a DSLR. It’s not suited to taking on bike rides with me.
I discovered that a “mirrorless interchangeable-lens digital camera” is what I “needed”. After a fair bit of reading and looking at photos I kept coming back to the Fuji Film X-T4. Boxes were ticked. With a bit of money burning a hole in my pocket it was only a couple more weeks before I clicked a buy button and bought a second hand model with a 35mm prime lens to go with it.
There’s a lot to this camera. Way more than I would have imagined. Loads of settings and options and that’s not counting those for video. Slowly learning how to use the equipment through a process of trial and error. Motivated by the personal challenge to get a decent shot rather than anything else. Once in a while I look at what I have and think that’s kind of what I was hoping for.
I have noticed myself judging these photos on whether they are good enough to share. There may be some credence to that but it can be quite stifling. I would do well to leave remits and quality standards to things I get paid for, enjoy what I do as a past time and don’t hold back.
To that end I’m posting a few pics I’ve taken over the last couple of weeks or so. They look okay to me. I snapped all but the first while out on my bike.
🤦🏻♂️ Seems I may have carried some bitterness about that. ↩︎